Picture this scene…
This last Fall it was my daughter Violet’s second birthday, and to celebrate we threw a “purple party” – we had purple everything, everybody wore purple – it was so amazing and we had such a good time. The guests had left and we were cleaning up the decorations and I’m on a high, thinking that life can’t get better than this….and then my husband and I get into this massive fight!
We’ve all been there, right?!
Like most women, when I’m in turmoil in my romantic relationship, it’s so unbearable that it’s hard to function and my mind starts going to these dark places. We have a tendency as humans to re-write history and literally forge
t all of the good that exists in our relationship or anything good that ever happened. We start to paint this bleak picture where all we can see is what’s not working and we question the whole relationship.
My husband and I really believe that romantic connections are one of the single-most intense transformational paths. You’re blending your karma and your energy with another person on a different level, and the reason you’re drawn together is because your core wounding is attracted in equal proportion to that of the person who you are attracting.
Romantic relationships are designed to bring two people together for the purpose of healing – pulling up and transmuting anything that’s not love into love – and that’s SUPER challenging at times.
One of the most beneficial things that have really helped my husband and I through tough times is to set up what I call “anchors” ahead of time, so that they’re already in place and we’ll run into them automatically. When you see them, it’s almost like your highest self whispering over your shoulder saying, “Hey, remember? Remember that you love each other’s crazies, that you make each other laugh. Remember how much you adore each other. Remember that you are in love.”
One of the things that works best for me is photographs. Having your wedding pictures blown up and out where you can see them – any pictures that show you just totally in love and enamored with each other – work as really powerful anchors and are beautiful things to have around your home (especially in your bedroom). That way, when you go into those dark places, you can see them and you can remember how much you truly love each other.
Some of my favorite “love anchors” are:
- Relationship Alter: Set aside a place in your home for sacred objects that remind you of your mutual love. (FYI… it’s awesome Feng Shui to have it in your bedroom.) You may want to add items from your wedding or other objects that represent your good times together.
- Gratitude Practice: This can be done once or twice per day, but the key is to be consistent. Spend a few minutes telling the other person what you appreciate about them, then switch. Sounds simple, but this a powerful exercise. Every time you do it it’s like making a deposit into each others love bank. Then you’ll have reserves to draw upon on the rainy days.
- Essence Photographs: Pictures taken together in your higher selves or that reflect your core values as a couple.
- A Dependable Loved One: It’s a wonderful idea to ask a friend or family member ahead of time if they are willing to be on speed dial when the waters get turbulent, and to remind you of how in love you are. You can even write a letter to yourself and ask that they hold it and give it back to you if things ever get really bad.
I think anchors are a really, really important tool to have, not just for your love relationship, but for you personally. The more we can remember who we are in our higher self, (or our high priest or priestess – as I like to say), in other words… in our most evolved self, the better we can operate from that place and all of our relationships and everything in our life is improved.
You know we are all constantly evolving into our next best self, so to take pictures of yourself in your pure, unobstructed essence is one of the best tools to anchor us in our truth and our knowing, and help us to remember and to believe in ourselves when we’re in those darker times.
I would love to hear about some of your favorite love anchors below. 🙂
HAPPY LOVE DAY!
P.S. – You may know who Heather B. is – she’s a very famous photographer who’s worked with a ton of celebrities. Her specialty is helping draw out the essence of who people really are and taking beautiful photographs of them in their highest self, to use as an anchor or even just for their business. Heather took the gorgeous picture of my husband above, and I think that it really captures our depth and essence, and illustrate how in love we are. The photos she took are totally magnificent and are some of my favorite anchors!
By the way, Heather is actually offering a special on one of her packages right now, so if you need a good photographic anchor for yourself or even if you’ve just been thinking about getting new pictures done, I highly recommend contacting her. Working with her has always been an amazingly revealing experience for me! 😉